The Adventures of Clinton Francis Barton
by okiedokie-lokie
Summary: Small drabbles of what I can only imagine happens in the Avengers Tower when Clint's there. Post-Avengers. Post-CA:TWS. Loki and Bucky and Falcon and maybe other characters will be mentioned. I will also include (maybe) some pairings, either with Clint or in the background. I do not own any characters, only plots and other things. Warning: probably some harmed bread crumbs.
1. Don't Touch That

"Dude. Don't you dare." The chair underneath him squeaks as he moves his weight forward, still perched. One finger is raised from a clenched fist. It points to a dark-hooded figure on the other side of the shared kitchen. "Those are mine. Stark bought them for me from Japan. They're special."

The figure looks at me then at the box labeled "Best Bread Crumbs". The hood chuckles. A glimpse of silver is seen taking the box. In a sharp mumble, "I need them more, Hawk."

_Oh, the little fucker. _"James Barnes!" The chair falls with a loud crack against the too nice wood floor. I chase the ex-assassin down the halls, grabbing the closest things to my hands and retching them at Bucky. Expensive or not, _screw it._ It never crossed my mind.

I see Bruce walk out of the elevator mumbling something about Thor snoring, labs, and beds. Clint sees Bruce, who is watching the scene unfold, and silently curses to himself if he wakes up the Hulk.

It was way too quick. An expensive vase _(I'll haft explain that to Tony later)_ hurdled towards Bucky, but with a swift hit, made its way towards Banner. Within a quick blink of an eye, a nervous glance between Bucky and I, the Hulk was awake and grabbed me first in a rib-crushing grip. Bucky chuckles and hauls down the hallway.

"Bird-Man stays here with Hulk," _I feel some ribs breaking. Great_. "Where is Silver-Arm?"

I wish I didn't gulp out loud. "Well, he went somewhere."

"Then Hulk find him with help."

"Shit." _I'm screwed._

Well... Let's just say, there was a couple holes in the wall, a seething Tony, a bionic arm thrown out somewhere, and a happy bird picking up his unharmed bread crumbs.


	2. Falling to Deaf Ears

Clearly, no one understands the term personal space. Not even 'Tasha. I mean, how hard is it to follow such a small need? I make sure everyone is okay. I don't go up to her and touch _her _stuff. _Well, most of the time._

_Maybe Captain Spangles knows what's up._

"Hey Steve, have you seen my Batman comic? It's a limited edition and its valuable to me," Steve looks at me like I just talked to him in a foreign language. _Fuck. This isn't gunna work._

He gathers himself. "I haven't. But I can ask around if you'd like."

"Make sure your 40s boyfriend didn't touch it, or he wouldn't have arms," the last fiasco with that douche was enough.

Steve blushed lightly and opened his mouth to protest, but no noise came out. "I'll make sure."

"Good." It was going to be a long day.

Hours. Thats all it takes. Really. Hours of searching, asking around, even asking the damned AI that Tony built for god-knows-what. And in a sick British voice, it replied with a simple "no". _There goes my limited edition comic._

_I feel like punching a goddamn wall. _A noise peaks my curiosity and small inner rage. Loki turns into the kitchen area and walking to the pantry. He almost looks smug. _Almost._ I hide behind the tall counter to watch my old boss's every move. He rustles around the pantry, grabs the Oreo's, grabs a milk carton from the fridge and sits down on a stool by the kitchen island. I continue watching from behind.

I overhear Loki starting to mumble. "The Hawk has yet to question me. What a fool. What is that phrase Midgardians say? Oh, yes. He 'falls to deaf ears'." I see him take a book out of his oversized jacket.

The light hits it at a too-perfect angle.

"LOKI LAUFEYSON! IT WAS YOU!" Everything was too quick, _funny how that rings a bell._ A hand waves, green shit appear, I freeze midair. _Just a normal day at Avengers Tower._


	3. SHIELD Protocols

Chapter 3: SHIELD Protocol

"State your name."

"Clint Barton." A chuckle slipped from my mouth.

The mouthless voice repeats. "State your _full _name."

I sigh, rolling my eyes. "My name is Clinton Francis Barton. Happy?"

"Affirmative. State your position at S.H.I.E.L.D."

"Uh, Standing?" I crack another smile. _This was too easy._

"State your position."

"Archer." The darkness in the room was humorous. "C'mon Coulson! You know this shit already!"

A click of a button, then faint static. "Its just protocol, Barton. Don't get your arrows in a twist."

"Congrats, Coulson. You actually said something sarcastic," I leaned back on the chair in the empty room, laughing out loud this time. _Coulson doesn__'__t seem to happy._

The static died and the automated voice came back.

"State your team."

"The Avengers, dammit."


	4. Sign Language Heroes

Clint looked around.

Mouths moving, hands dancing along the beat of the voices. Clint heard none.

He left his hearing aid again back at the tower.

He moves around the crowds, trying to find Natasha or Steve or even Tony to try to get them to sign language to him what's going on. Everyone important was here at this party that Tony threw. Lawyers from all around New York, the _whole _police force, some kid photographer from the _Daily Bugle _(he's got something familiar about him that Clint can't point out yet), and a bunch of super heroes.

Clint mindlessly walks passed two cops "laughing", or so Clint thought was laughing, and he bumps into something. He turns around to find a tall fellow, with a scruffy face and… sunglasses? _What's this guy doing with sun—_

"Oh, shit, you're blind," Clint announces a little too loud. He can't hear himself speak.

The blind man looks slightly down to Clint and smiles. His mouth moves, but Clint can't decipher what he's saying. A man next to him chuckles and waves hello to Clint. Clint looks over and says hi, but a little too loud as well.

Blind Man's Friend smiles again and starts moving his hands and fingers. Clint looks to his hands and smiles. _They know my language. _

"I left my hearing aid back at Avengers Tower. I'm Clint, or Hawkeye," he yells over to the two.

Blind Man nods and stares blankly at Clint. His friend grabs Clint's attention then starts signing, "Hi, I'm Franklin, or Foggy, and the blind guy is Matthew Murdock. We are defense attorneys in Hell's Kitchen. Nice to meet you."

Clint's eyes shrunk as his smile grew large. He knew these two. They brought down the Kingpin. He starts, "You guys brought down Kingpin right? With the help of the 'devil of Hell's Kitchen' right? You guys are awesome!"

Matthew smiled, and whispered something to Foggy. Foggy chuckled and signed again. "Daredevil, he's here. You just need to see a little deeper."

Clint almost screamed. "Daredevil? Here? Where?"

Foggy pointed a finger to Matthew. Clint's eyes went wide, and he swore he can almost hear his mind and heart explode.


	5. Ordinary Day

Clint woke up early one morning. He stretched, yawned, and crinkled his toes. He thought he heard his alarm go off, but it didn't. He continued to stretch and yawn and he opened his eyes.

What he saw, well, was not his messy room. He didn't see his bow and arrows hanging from the usual place on the wall across from his bed. Instead he saw a Batman vs. Superman poster.

_That's weird, where's my stuff?_ He thought to himself as he got out of bed and put on his purple flip-flops. He continued to look around to find his weapons, but to no avail, for anything Avenger-related was gone.

Clint lazily dragged his feet to the door and opened it, hearing someone cooking what smelled like pancakes. _Pancakes!_

_Wait, Pancakes?_

Thor was cooking pancakes in the main kitchen on the Avengers floor. Tony was up and moving around the table, but something was missing: his arc reactor. Now that Clint thought about it, Mjolnir was _not_ hanging on the hat rack by the elevator. The huge TV was playing the Saturday cartoons, Scooby Doo and the gang solving the newest mystery. Natasha was sitting on the sofa with Banner, relaxed and just watching TV. Steve, Sam and Bucky were all waiting by the kitchen for Thor to finish cooking.

Everything was normal. Clint didn't like this new normal.

Natasha turned around and saw his disgusted face, "Hey, Barton, come watch cartoons with us, Shaggy and Scooby just got their Scooby snack." Banner laughed at something from the TV.

"Nah, I'm good; although, have you seen my bow and arrows?" Clint blurted out.

Banner then turned around and gave a weird face to Clint, "There are no weapons here, except Thor's arms." Thor laughed from the kitchen and announced that pancakes were served.

Everyone gathered around the table and started picking up pancakes and putting them on their own plates. Syrup was passed around and so was the butter. Clint was felt out of place for the first time in a long time, so he decided to take action.

"What in the gods is going on here?! Thor's missing his godly hammer, Tony has a heart," Tony looked at him annoyed, "Natasha and Banner are calm and relaxed, and Steve hasn't said a god-damned thing!"

Tony, after giving Clint a look, started, "We've always been 'normal', what's wrong with you, making up crap about everyone? Just wake up Clint and stop playing your silly games!"

…

Clint gasped awake. He looked straight ahead and found his quiver and bow. He sighed with relief.

"It was only just a dream…"


End file.
